Why Isn’t This Child Abuse?

Found this on Toilet Nation

Another Day, Another Mom  is a blog by a mother who has failed her six year old son:

“I have no fears for who my son is, or who he will become. I celebrate his ability to move with grace and fluidity between the lines of a gender dichotomy that doesn’t really fit him. So far he isn’t concerned with where he falls in the rainbow of gender, equally happy in pants and t-shirt reading about princesses or in a pink twirly skirt driving his bulldozer through the yard. As a mother, I strive to keep my struggles in this unexpected parenting challenge to myself, trying to show him that I see a beautiful and creative kid whom I will love and celebrate no matter what adventures find us.

My fear has nothing to do with him. My fear has to do with all the people out there who will inevitably try to forcibly and cruelly cram this beautiful child into the box with a penis printed on it. My fear is that we live in a culture that hurts, shames, abuses, and kills people who dare to live outside of two rigidly defined gender boxes. The idea that someone might hurt my child because of his gender expression and life choices works its way into my nightmares.

As a parent I want to do everything I can, everything in my power to protect my child. The best I can do is have fluidity with his changes, supporting and loving the adventure that is his life. I can help him by not hiding his “differences”, but by speaking about him in a normal voice. This is not something to either elevate or denigrate, just a normal part of my child and who he is, much like his blond hair. Ultimately I will teach him to be flamboyant in himself – whoever that is – and to be conscious of where and when he expresses that flamboyance. If he continues on this track of gender fluidity, I will have to teach him about the horrors and dangers of oppression and how to keep himself safe. It is a tragedy to have to teach these things to so young a child, but his safety has to come first. Of course I will teach him about oppression, acceptance, and being a good ally regardless of where his gender lands, but if he were not a likely target for violence himself I would be able to give him the luxury of a few more years in which the world is a wholly magical and innocent place. And no matter how much I might wish to, I am not going to hide my child behind my own fears.”


It gets worse, all but one of the comments are telling this woman she’s a good mom.


2 thoughts on “Why Isn’t This Child Abuse?

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